How Do You Know They’re "The One"? A Proverbs-Inspired Guide to Finding the Right Partner

Let’s be real—choosing a life partner is one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make. It’s right up there with picking a career, buying a home, or deciding if you really need that extra dessert (spoiler: you probably do). The world tells us to look for “the spark”—but chemistry fades, and character stays. Thankfully, the Bible, especially the book of Proverbs, gives us solid wisdom on what to look for in a godly man or woman. So, grab a seat, take notes, and let’s figure out if they’re “The One” or just the one for right now.

1. They Fear the Lord (and Not Just in a “Grandma Made Me Go to Church” Way)

Proverbs 1:7 says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”A godly partner doesn’t just wear a cross necklace—they actually live by the cross. This means they seek God in their decisions, relationships, and daily life. They pray, they grow in their faith, and they don’t just call on Jesus when their WiFi stops working.

👉 For a man: Is he leading himself spiritually before he tries to lead you?

👉 For a woman: Does she have a heart that seeks God before she seeks status, validation, or material things?

If they fear the Lord, you’re off to a good start. If they only “kind of” believe in God but aren’t really following Him? 🚩 Time to rethink.

2. They’re Trustworthy and Honest (Not Just Smooth-Talking)

Proverbs 12:22 reminds us, “The Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in people who are trustworthy.”It doesn’t matter how attractive, successful, or charming someone is—if they can’t be trusted, they’re not the one.

• Do they follow through on their word?

• Are they honest, even when it’s uncomfortable?

• Do they say one thing and do another?

For a man: Does he keep his promises and show integrity in all areas of life?

For a woman: Can she be trusted with your heart, your dreams, and your deepest concerns?

A great relationship is built on trust, not just Instagram-worthy moments.

3. They’re Hardworking, Not Lazy

Proverbs 14:23 says, “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.”

A healthy relationship takes two people who are willing to work—not just on their careers, but on themselves and the relationship.

👉 For a man: He doesn’t just talk about his dreams—he actually works toward them. A man who is diligent, ambitious, and disciplined is a man who can provide, protect, and lead.

👉 For a woman: A Proverbs 31 woman isn’t just sitting around waiting for a man to give her a life—she’s building one herself. She’s wise with her time, resourceful, and contributes to her household.

Lazy people don’t suddenly become hardworking spouses—watch their habits now before you commit.

4. They Bring Peace, Not Drama

Proverbs 17:1 says, “Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.” Translation? Peace > Stress.

If every conversation with them turns into a debate, if they hold grudges like it’s an Olympic sport, or if they thrive on chaos and emotional rollercoasters, that’s a problem.

For a man: Is he steady, patient, and emotionally mature? Or is he always angry, unpredictable, or holding onto resentment?For a woman: Does she bring wisdom and grace into your life? Or is she constantly in conflict with others, hard to please, or controlling?

A peaceful relationship doesn’t mean boring—it means safe, stable, and secure.

5. They’re Generous and Kind (Not Just to You, But to Others Too!)

Proverbs 11:25 says, “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” It’s easy to be kind when people are watching—but true character is revealed in everyday actions.

👉 For a man: Does he give freely, serve others, and put people before possessions? Or is he selfish and stingy?

👉 For a woman: Does she have a gentle, kind spirit that uplifts those around her? Or is she more concerned with appearances and getting her way?

A selfish partner will make a selfish spouse. Pay attention to how they treat others, not just how they treat you.

6. They Respect You and Value Your Worth

Proverbs 31:10 says, “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” And let’s not forget Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Your partner should see your worth—not test it. They should encourage your growth, respect your boundaries, and push you closer to God, not further from Him.

For a man: He treats his partner as a treasure, not a conquest. He protects, uplifts, and honors her.

For a woman: She is wise, supportive, and not manipulative or controlling. She knows her worth and doesn’t settle for less than what God has for her.

If someone constantly makes you feel insecure, unworthy, or like an option, they aren’t God’s best for you.

Final Thoughts: How Do You Know They’re "The One"?

At the end of the day, no one is perfect—but the right person will be someone who is:

✅ God-fearing

✅ Honest and trustworthy

✅ Hardworking and responsible

✅ A source of peace, not stress

✅ Kind and generous

✅ Respectful of you and your worth

If they check these boxes, pray about it and move forward with wisdom. If not? Don’t force it. God’s best for you is never someone who drains you, manipulates you, or pulls you away from Him. If you’re waiting for "The One," don’t settle. Trust God’s timing, and prepare yourself to be someone’s “one” too. 💛